When a woman sits in front of Elena Dilai’s camera for the first time, she often begins with hesitation, unsure where to place her hands, how to tilt her face, what to do with her smile. But as the hour passes, something shifts. The posing stops, laughter starts, music plays, conversation flows, and for the first time in a long while, she is fully seen.
“That’s when I start to see her,” Elena says. “The real person—not the mask, not the roles, but her soul. By the end, we dance, we laugh, we cry. And together, we create portraits that they love.”
A professor of mathematics at Monroe Community College and the owner of Elena Dilai Photography, LLC, Elena has made it her mission to photograph women over 40, capturing their stories of courage, identity, and self-worth. She realized that, as women, we are often photographed at milestones, graduations, weddings, when we have a family, but what if you didn’t graduate, didn’t marry, divorced, or never had children? Don’t you still deserve to exist in a beautiful portrait?
The idea was born from personal loss. When her aunt passed away in her early seventies, Elena noticed there was no photograph that truly captured her essence. The best they had was a blurry cellphone snapshot, which Elena tried to restore using her skills. It was a stark reminder: despite living in a generation flooded with images, so few of us have portraits that honor who we are.
She also noticed a pattern among the women she knew. They were always behind the camera, taking photos of their children, partners, or pets, but rarely of themselves. “That shouldn’t be the case,” she says. “Everyone deserves to be remembered in their best light.” And so she transformed her studio into a sanctuary, a space where women could be seen, celebrated, and preserved exactly as they wish to be remembered.
For many women, the experience begins with hesitation. “This topic has been on my mind for several years,” Elena explains. “At some point, I realized that most women do not have a portrait that will define them for the next generations. Not a cell phone snippet stored in the cloud, but a proper portrait that depicts them in a way they should be remembered.” Many feel guilty about scheduling a session for themselves and not for the whole family, or they believe they need to lose weight, change their hair, or undergo a beauty procedure to minimize wrinkles. “Believe me, I understand all of that,” she says. “But the reality is that you are as young today as you will ever be! You are beautiful the way you are! And every shape and form should be celebrated.”
Elena guides women through every step of the experience. When they ask, “I have never been photographed professionally and don’t know how to pose. Will you guide me?” she smiles and says, “Absolutely. I prepare for each photoshoot based on our consultation. I select poses that are most flattering for each person I photograph. You don’t need experience, it’s my job to make you look spectacular.” And when someone worries about what to wear, she reassures them that style and wardrobe will be part of the consultation. Sometimes clients love shopping for new outfits, and other times Elena will help them discover treasures in their own closet. Hair and makeup are included, and her stylist works closely with each woman to create the look that feels most authentic to her.
The full experience takes about five hours: hair and makeup, the photoshoot, a short break with snacks, and finally the image selection. During that selection, each participant chooses a hero image included in the experience, and may also select additional images to purchase. One portrait is included in the initial price, and Elena makes clear that there is no obligation to buy more. Her images, prints, folio boxes, albums, and wall art are of the highest quality, printed in Italy, and only purchased if the client truly loves them.
Elena’s work is about more than creating beautiful images, it’s about legacy. “When someone we love passes, the thing we cherish most is their photograph,” she says. “The portrait stays when the memory fades. No one will sort through millions of pictures on the Cloud, but no one will throw away a portrait. It’s tangible. It’s love you can touch.” Her studio walls are lined with images of women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s, each one radiant, mischievous, defiant, and graceful. When future generations look at them, they’ll say, “She lived. This was her.”
For Elena, the most authentic moments appear when a woman forgets she is being photographed. Some bring meaningful objects—a handmade vase, a sword from karate practice, a beloved book, or a bouquet of flowers—to anchor themselves and tell their story. One client who hated her smile only wanted serious, “Vogue-style” shots, yet Elena captured her laughing. When she saw the images, she began to cry. Her former spouse had criticized her smile, and seeing herself laughing again was healing, it restored a part of herself she thought she had lost.
Many of Elena’s sessions are deeply therapeutic. She has photographed women recovering from chemotherapy, navigating divorce, or rediscovering themselves after decades of caregiving. One woman, fresh from cancer treatment, saw herself as confident and beautiful again for the first time in years. Another, struggling with guilt over a loved one’s addiction, said the session reminded her that someone else’s pain did not define her: “I’m still here. I’m still me,” she recalls saying.
Elena believes that portraits should reveal emotion, not just appearance. “By the time we reach our fifties, we’re often defined by roles—wife, mother, professional, volunteer. But people stop seeing us simply as women. Beauty doesn’t fade; it just takes a different shape. I’ve met women in their seventies who are more alive than some in their thirties.”
Of course, not everyone understands the depth of her work. Some may dismiss it as “self-indulgent vanity.” But Elena knows what happens in these sessions: the laughter, the tears, the healing, the empowerment. She wants women to be seen as vibrant, fierce, alive, not merely survivors. “There’s so much ugliness in the world,” she says. “You turn on the news—it’s all heavy. I want to add light.”
If she could photograph any historical woman over 40, she doesn’t hesitate: Susan B. Anthony. “We see her as stoic and serious, but I bet she had a side that wanted to laugh, dance, and be romantic. Every woman I’ve photographed has that side, even the most powerful ones.”
At its heart, Elena’s mission isn’t about vanity, it’s about remembrance. “We all want to live forever,” she muses, “but if we knew we would, would we really live each day to the fullest? A photograph doesn’t make you immortal. It preserves your memory. When someone finds an old portrait in a drawer and says, ‘This was my great-grandmother,’ that’s priceless. That’s love made visible.”
Through her lens, Elena Dilai isn’t just taking pictures, she is building a gallery of women who chose to see themselves, who no longer hide behind roles or regrets, who finally said yes to being remembered. Sometimes, the most radical act of self-love is simply stepping into the frame.
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