People generally enjoy helping others, but new research from Cornell University suggests they may not enjoy talking about those good deeds nearly as much.
A study led by Cornell researchers found that people expect to feel more embarrassed and ashamed when sharing their charitable actions with others than when sharing personal accomplishments such as promotions, awards or other successes. The findings suggest many people instinctively recognize a social downside to publicly discussing their own acts of generosity.
The research began after lead author Jerry Richardson, a doctoral candidate in psychology at Cornell, had a chance encounter outside a grocery store. After buying food for a man who had asked for help, Richardson initially considered telling friends about the experience but ultimately decided against it, feeling uncomfortable about drawing attention to his own generosity.
That experience inspired a broader investigation into how people perceive the emotional consequences of sharing good deeds. Richardson worked with colleagues from Cornell and the University of Toronto to examine what they called the “Do-gooder Dilemma.”
Across five studies involving hundreds of participants, researchers asked people to recall both a good deed and a personal achievement from their own lives. Participants then rated how they would feel if they shared those experiences with friends or posted about them on social media.
The results showed a clear difference. Participants said they would feel more pride and happiness discussing personal accomplishments. But when it came to sharing good deeds, they expected to feel more shame and embarrassment, particularly if they posted about them publicly online.
Researchers believe the reaction stems from concerns about how others might interpret the motivation behind the good deed. People worry that talking about charitable acts could make them appear self-serving or overly concerned with gaining praise and social recognition.
The effect was especially strong for social media posts, where participants anticipated an even greater emotional penalty. Researchers said people may fear that publicizing their generosity could undermine the sincerity of the act itself.
The study also uncovered another interesting finding: Participants believed other people would feel far better about sharing their own good deeds than they themselves would. Researchers said that difference may reflect how difficult it is to accurately imagine the emotional experiences of others.
The findings suggest that while people often seek recognition for achievements, many remain uncomfortable promoting their own acts of kindness. Researchers concluded that sharing stories of personal generosity may be a less effective way of signaling moral character than many people assume — and may ultimately leave the storyteller feeling worse rather than better.
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