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Introducing your gay partner to your family

Introducing your partner to your family can be very difficult, especially if you’re gay. While your parents may accept you as their child, they might have an adverse reaction when they see you in a relationship. All the pressures of your sexuality combined with bringing home a partner can manifest in a bad way. However, there are ways to prepare yourself, your partner, and your family for this situation, and this examination of the process can help you.

1 – Spend time alone with your parents to talk

First off, it’s a good idea to talk to your parents beforehand. You don’t want to spring this meeting on them at the last second. Make sure you tell them that you want them to meet your partner and be a part of your life. You don’t have to make threats or give ultimatums at this point; just trust them and be mindful of their reactions.

2 – Prep Your Partner Beforehand

You know your parents and partner better than anyone else. Tell your partner things they can do if they want to impress your parents. Shake your dad’s hand; hug your mother. This depends a lot on culture, so prepare your partner in advance and they’ll feel better.

3 – Keep the Introduction Short and Sweet

There’s no need to linger around all day. Introduce your partner, exchange pleasantries, and then leave. Don’t get locked into a dinner reservation where the conversation can begin to sour. However, if things go well, then feel free to plan a longer and more formal introduction in the future.

4 – Touch Your Partner

You need to establish that you and your boyfriend are romantic partners. That involves being comfortable and doing small things like touching them. Even if you’re holding hands for reassurance, that’s something. Of course, you might want to refrain from sharing an open-mouth kiss with your partner, at least for now.

5 – Talk About Usual Things

There is no need to bring up any odd conversational topics when you’re introducing your parents to your partner for the first time. Talk about the weather, sports, mutual interests, family members, or anything of that sort. Don’t bring up politics or any other divisive topic, or you’re going to risk making the first impression a bad one. Both you and your parents are going to have your mind on the interaction and not the small-talk, so make sure the conversation flows easily.

6 – Avoid Controversy

Avoiding controversy is a blanket statement. You shouldn’t do or say anything that is going to make either party uncomfortable. Don’t suddenly push your partner to be social with people that they have never met, and don’t make your parents feel unwelcome. Go into the meeting with an open mind and a clean slate. This should be a very positive experience!

7 – Try to Find Something They Have in Common

You know your parents and your partner’s lives pretty well at this point. You might benefit from looking to see what your partner has in common with either one of your parents. That way, you can look at them both and say, “He’s a fan of stock car racing like Dad” or “He makes homemade pasta like Mom.” That little bit of relatability can be the difference between a lukewarm first meeting and making a very positive impression.

8 – Share Your Fears

Don’t be afraid to talk to your parents and be open with them. While you might not have been very forthright with them in the recent past, you should tell them that you have concerns about how they’re going to react now that you’ve brought a partner around. They will either allay your fears, or they’ll have a reaction that will allow you to process your future interactions with them.

9 – Give them time

Whether your parents have a positive or negative reaction to the introduction, it’s important to give them time to process their feelings. You don’t have to invite them over for dinner the following night or propose going over their place for a night by the fireplace. Let everyone have their space to decompress, and then you can schedule a future meeting.

10 – If all else fails, you two have each other.

Sadly, some parents aren’t going to have a positive reaction to meeting your romantic partner. They either won’t accept them as a person, or they won’t accept you both as gay men. At the very least, you have your partner there to support you the entire way. It’s going to be a difficult time, but it’s not up to you to change your parents’ minds.

When introducing your gay partner to your family for the first time try to follow these tips prepared by experts from That way, you can take an informed approach to the situation and ensure that your partner and you have guidelines to follow. There is no doubt this will be a difficult time, but you’ll get through it together.

Categories: Life